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'He's just not that into you'

Nov. 16, 2004

Humorous self-help book offers blunt advice on relationships

By ASHLEY ARGUELLO, reporter

Based off an episode of Sex in the City, comes a self-help guide to moving on with your life. He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys, written by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, is a collaboration of love / hate experiences from both genders.

He's Just Not That Into You came about when Tuccillo and other Sex in the City writers were gossiping about personal relationship problems and possible explanations for them. Behrendt, a Sex in the City consultant, listened to the woman analyze and debate about what should be done. Finally, he uttered his famous last words: "He's just not that into you." Then came an episode of Sex in the City featuring the same type of conversation. Tuccillo and Behrendt knew the next step was to write a book dedicated to woman who needed to hear the truth.

In this unconventional relationship guide, Behrendt dishes out advice on dating in a world where excuses are just that -- excuses. Never ceasing to be blunt and on the mark, Behrendt answers a multitude of pleas for help in question-and-answer format. Most chapters are along the lines of "He's not that into you ... if he's not calling you" or " ... if he's not asking you out." Each of the chapters contain "letters to Greg," which are filled with excuses women give for their supposed significant others and requests for Behrendt's approval. In response, Behrendt always tells them the guy they're seeing is just not that into them. He informs the women they can do better. He tells them they are stupid if they can't see it.

Behrendt's no-holds-barred attitude is refreshing, but a little too realistic. Questions chosen for the chapter seem to only show females as stupid and naïve. Although Behrendt's points were well-made and his solutions make sense, his approach seemed a bit drastic. However, his ultimate point -- women are gorgeous and intelligent, and deserve to be treated as such -- made the book worth the read.

At the end of each chapter, once Behrendt is finished cutting through all the excuses women give, Tuccillo adds a woman's point of view to the mix. She knows how hard it is for women to just accept a man not liking them. But she agrees with Greg that it will be easier in the long run. No more analyzing conversations and no more waiting by the phone. Chapters also end with a list of what should have been learned. This is a rundown of Behrendt's points followed by the "Super-Good Really Helpful Workbook," a page of nonsense to relieve the reader with a laugh and free them of dead-end relationships.

Behrendt's comedic background and Tuccillo's quick-witted writing skills keep the reader tuned-in to find out what sort of advice should be given to reject the next line of excuses. But what it simply all comes down to is "he's just not that into you."