Promoting Safe and Healthy Relationships

April 28, 2022
Promoting Safe and Healthy Relationships 2

It is vital to understand what healthy relationships, stalking and harassment each look like in order to provide the best support to friends or others you are concerned about.

Cheryl Wooten, a senior psychologist and Coordinator of Trauma Recovery Services at the Baylor Counseling Center, describes a healthy relationship as one that is safe and built on consistent, caring behavior.

"The backbone of a healthy relationship is safety," Wooten said.

Wooten explains that people in safe relationships see each other as holistic human beings, not merely as a body. She believes that how time in a relationship is spent is a good indicator of whether or not a person is being seen as a whole person. If most of the time is spent on sexual activity, that may be an indicator of an unhealthy relationship.

"Safe relationships are built on more than just physical pleasure and allow room for the entirety of who you are as an individual," Wooten said.

In contrast to the safety felt in healthy relationships, stalking and harassment behaviors are ones that make people feel unsafe.

The Department of Justice defines stalking as "engaging in a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for his or her safety or the safety of others or suffer substantial emotional distress."

These stalking behaviors, according to Wooten, can take place physically or virtually.

"Physically stalking someone may look like waiting in the hallway for an individual to come out of their classroom when there is no other reason for the stalker to be in that location," Wooten said. "Virtually stalking a person is typically referred to as 'cyberstalking' and may involve following the individual on multiple social media platforms or getting information about their location or activities from information their friends posted on social media."

Just as stalking has many forms, so does harassment. According to Wooten, "Harassing behavior includes the following:  jokes, slurs, name-calling, intimidation, insults, threats, physical or violent confrontations, posting offensive objects or pictures in the workplace or academic environment, sending offensive or repetitive emails, and using social media in an offensive manner."

Wooten says that if you think one of your friends is in an unhealthy relationship or is experiencing stalking or harassment, it is important that you listen to your friend and ask them how you can help.

"Though it's not the job of a friend to judge if the observed behavior meets the legal criteria for harassment, perhaps it is a friend's job to ask, 'Are you okay?' and 'How can I help?' and then truly listen to the answer," Wooten said.

Asking simple questions like those can open up a larger conversation and give your friend a space to express how they actually feel about a situation.

"If you see someone whose behavior seems 'off,' 'creepy,' or disturbing, it can be powerful to ask the person receiving the behavior if they are 'okay' with it," Wooten said. "If the behavior is unwelcome and feels upsetting, I would encourage you to work together to get some additional support."

As you support your friends, be sure to also bring in outside support. Offer to take your friend to a counselor or direct them to other resources. A few local resources include the Advocacy Center for Crime Victims and Children, Baylor Scott & White, or Ascension. Wooten encourages reaching out to as many professional avenues as is necessary to get the help you need.

"No one deserves to experience harassment, stalking, sexual assault, or any other form of interpersonal violence," Wooten said.

Report instances of sexual or interpersonal misconduct by contacting the Equity, Civil Rights, and Title IX Office by calling 254-710-8454 or submitting a report through baylor.edu/reportit. Title IX also can be reached by email at TitleIX_Coordinator@baylor.edu.